GACKT Operator's Manual
Sep. 25th, 2008 09:13 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
karadin.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
gackt_armyauthor Karadin
fandom Gackt
rating PG
disclaimer - you can't really buy Gackt (sob)
the author takes no remuneration for this work of fiction
(thank you Theresa Green and Abiona for the inspiration)
Please locate model plate on your Gackt unit (lower right buttock) copy the information and keep in a safe place, this information will be needed to obtain assistance from the Customer Service Department. Model number, Serial number, 00790088/Dears/GacktForYou.com
SET UP AND ADJUSTMENT
This unit is shipped without lubrication, fill up with approved GacktLube provided with unit as instructed in the manual BEFORE operation. Platinum Egoiste scent and black color is normal.
Remove any packing material which may be between arms and torso and thighs.
Start button is located on the spine of the unit, third vertebrae, press in lightly. Pushing the button over and over will delay the unit's power up. The eyes will glow blue when complete.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: GACKT
Type: MODEL 2008 A (or Limited Edition Uesugi Kenshin)
Site of Manufacture: Okinawa (Kenshin model Joetsu, Niigata)
Height:
Weight:
Shoe size: (US) 10
Power source: Mr.Fusion (Green)
(lack of body hair is a feature on all later GACKT Models)
***NEVER LEAVE THE UNIT UNATTENDED*** (ie-allow your GACKT unit walk to the corner shop for a liter of milk) Even with a GPS tracking device there has been a high incidence of theft for this unit, (particularly the Limited Edition Takano Yuri and Genesis Rhapsodos Crisis Core Models)
ACCESSORIES
Your Gackt 2008 Model wears a thong and does not come with other clothing.
(Kenshin Model has either purple or red Heian-era robe - choice when ordering)
Your GACKT 2008 Model comes with black wig, (Kenshin Model has a short and a long black wig)
Your GACKT 2008 Model comes with blue eyes (Kenshin Model can switch from blue to dark brown)
Your Gackt 2008 Model comes with one Onyx bracelet, one Darts necklace.
Kenshin Model comes standard with prayer beads, biwa, and katana
*NOTE* The sunglasses included are not an accessory, they are provided with the unit to protect it's delicate optic sensors. The GACKT unit may freeze in place until sunglasses are applied*
FOR ADDITIONAL ACCESSORIES
Choose from our extensive catalogue of Wigs and Clothes. Kenshin Model has it's own catalogue, but product is limited. Check 'discontinued' on the website for Malice Mizer accessories.
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Your GACKT unit is voice activated. When powered up, state your instructions clearly in English, (if English model, Japanese for Dears Only model, etc.) You may have to state your instructions for up to three times, this is how the unit is designed.
Your GACKT unit can assume some household tasks. Your GACKT unit is designed to cook, but this takes up to 4 days.
Your GACKT unit can do your shopping, but has a need to seek items in unusual places, in this case it is best to accompany your unit.
Your GACKT unit can play video games, a game of pool, snowboarding, horseback riding, kick-boxing, wrestling, boxing, various martial arts.
After the production of the GACKT Drug Party Model hula hoop is a standard setting.
Your GACKT unit can drive, but only in the model and make of cars and motorcycles listed, otherwise you must transport your GACKT unit from place to place.
Your GACKT unit will sing, compose music, play various musical instruments, tell jokes and perform simple magic tricks.
The Kenshin Model will pray to Bishamonten on you and your family's behalf.
*See enclosed video to distinguish differences in Gackt unit Dancing Mode from unit malfunction.*
Your GACKT unit can be utilized for Self-Defense, register your GACKT unit with local police authorities if you purchase the Kenshin, Genesis Rhapsodos, Lau Wong, or Gide Bellecourt Models.
*** CAUTION *** Your GACKT is anatomically correct and fully functional. Before exploring the capabilities of your GACKT unit, please see your doctor, enclosed is a booklet with a diet and conditioning plan for those wishing to utilize the GACKT unit for non-standard activity.
DO NOT BITE THE EAR LOBES - this may cause the unit to malfunction.
**Limited and Extended Warranties do not cover expense of divorce proceedings leading from excessive use of your GACKT unit.**
COMPATIBILITY
Your GACKT unit has been designed to work in concert (literally) with other DEARS units. (Other units designed by other companies may or may not sync with your GACKT unit, namely, SUGIZO, MIYAVI and YOSHIKI models.
HYDE Models are all compatible, (a MoonChild Model will keep the GACKT SHO Model from defaulting to Despondent Mode)
YOU Models are all compatible, you may find that your GACKT unit works at premium efficency with this model, they can be stored in the same closet.
CHACHA Models are all compatible, you may find that a CHA Model can coerce a GACKT unit into working when it is lethargic.
*SEE JOB and Companion Model Listings for compatabilty - these fluctuate from time to time*
ENERU Model can at times aggravate your GACKT unit, we suggest buying many slippers.
CLEANING
For optimum efficency, your GACKT unit should be cleansed daily, sometimes more than once, depending on use. Volvic water is preferred, you can use local water if filtered. The skin MUST BE CONDITIONED regularly to keep it's satin-smooth factory finish, liberally apply lotion after each wash. It is recommended that you use products provided with unit.
GACKT UNIT SETTINGS
(Sleep Mode)
The GACKT UNIT will work on only three hours of charging, but this can result in inadvertent shut-downs and unit seizure - this is a programming problem we have not been able to fix.
(Fuel)
While powered by Mr. Fusion (Green) your GACKT unit can eat (and eat and eat) for the purposes of a more natural appearance, built to withstand the spiciest foods. Will void itself, and does not need maintainance with the exception of -
(Drink)
When given large amounts of alcohol, your GACKT unit's Emotional Meter will go to (Silly) with further application of alcohol, the Meter will read (Despondent) with accompanying tears, and at last, the Meter will go to (Belligerent) at which point the unit will start swinging. Our Limited and Extended Warranties will not cover damages sustained when your GACKT unit is allowed to exceeded its design parameters.
(Intimate Mode)
***SEE ENCLOSED ENCYCLOPEDIA***
(Note, this mode has an eight hour minimum)
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: Can I purchase a second GACKT unit?
A: Due to unforeseen circumstances, only one GACKT per household is allowed. DEARS does not allow unauthorized reproduction of GACKT units (even when the units manage to reproduce themselves)
Q: How should I store my GACKT?
A: Your unit is best stored in a clean, dry, dust-free area in a standing position, (see our catalogue for Clear Display Case) Please drain the lubrication from the unit before long-term storage, it is not necessary to wrap except in cases of long-term storage. (see our catalogue for Black Cape and Onyx Coffin)
TROUBLE SHOOTING
Problem: My GACKT unit gets a faraway look in his eyes and will not respond to repeated commands.
Solution: Flash something shiny.
Problem: My GACKT unit has begun to take apart all the appliances.
Solution: Remove all tools from the house.
Problem: My GACKT unit keeps touching his wrists and neck over and over.
Solution: Make sure that you have the requisite amount of jewelry on your GACKT unit, you can arrive at this by weighing your accessories, the standard amount being 14lbs.
Problem: My GACKT unit's expression is stuck on POUT.
Solution: Immediately open your GACKT Repair Kit and put the GUNDAM action figure enclosed in the unit's left hand, this should clear the default setting.
Problem: My GACKT unit will not keep his clothes on.
Solution: If this is a problem, you do not deserve a GACKT unit.
For repairs beyond minor adjustments, see an authorized service dealer, GacktArmyDivision/FixYourGackt.com
fandom Gackt
rating PG
disclaimer - you can't really buy Gackt (sob)
the author takes no remuneration for this work of fiction
(thank you Theresa Green and Abiona for the inspiration)
*** CONGRATULATIONS! ***
You are now the proud owner of a GACKT MODEL 2008!
READ SAFETY RULES AND INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY BEFORE OPERATION
You are now the proud owner of a GACKT MODEL 2008!
READ SAFETY RULES AND INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY BEFORE OPERATION
Please locate model plate on your Gackt unit (lower right buttock) copy the information and keep in a safe place, this information will be needed to obtain assistance from the Customer Service Department. Model number, Serial number, 00790088/Dears/GacktForYou.com
SET UP AND ADJUSTMENT
This unit is shipped without lubrication, fill up with approved GacktLube provided with unit as instructed in the manual BEFORE operation. Platinum Egoiste scent and black color is normal.
Remove any packing material which may be between arms and torso and thighs.
Start button is located on the spine of the unit, third vertebrae, press in lightly. Pushing the button over and over will delay the unit's power up. The eyes will glow blue when complete.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: GACKT
Type: MODEL 2008 A (or Limited Edition Uesugi Kenshin)
Site of Manufacture: Okinawa (Kenshin model Joetsu, Niigata)
Height:
Weight:
Shoe size: (US) 10
Power source: Mr.Fusion (Green)
(lack of body hair is a feature on all later GACKT Models)
***NEVER LEAVE THE UNIT UNATTENDED*** (ie-allow your GACKT unit walk to the corner shop for a liter of milk) Even with a GPS tracking device there has been a high incidence of theft for this unit, (particularly the Limited Edition Takano Yuri and Genesis Rhapsodos Crisis Core Models)
ACCESSORIES
Your Gackt 2008 Model wears a thong and does not come with other clothing.
(Kenshin Model has either purple or red Heian-era robe - choice when ordering)
Your GACKT 2008 Model comes with black wig, (Kenshin Model has a short and a long black wig)
Your GACKT 2008 Model comes with blue eyes (Kenshin Model can switch from blue to dark brown)
Your Gackt 2008 Model comes with one Onyx bracelet, one Darts necklace.
Kenshin Model comes standard with prayer beads, biwa, and katana
*NOTE* The sunglasses included are not an accessory, they are provided with the unit to protect it's delicate optic sensors. The GACKT unit may freeze in place until sunglasses are applied*
FOR ADDITIONAL ACCESSORIES
Choose from our extensive catalogue of Wigs and Clothes. Kenshin Model has it's own catalogue, but product is limited. Check 'discontinued' on the website for Malice Mizer accessories.
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Your GACKT unit is voice activated. When powered up, state your instructions clearly in English, (if English model, Japanese for Dears Only model, etc.) You may have to state your instructions for up to three times, this is how the unit is designed.
Your GACKT unit can assume some household tasks. Your GACKT unit is designed to cook, but this takes up to 4 days.
Your GACKT unit can do your shopping, but has a need to seek items in unusual places, in this case it is best to accompany your unit.
Your GACKT unit can play video games, a game of pool, snowboarding, horseback riding, kick-boxing, wrestling, boxing, various martial arts.
After the production of the GACKT Drug Party Model hula hoop is a standard setting.
Your GACKT unit can drive, but only in the model and make of cars and motorcycles listed, otherwise you must transport your GACKT unit from place to place.
Your GACKT unit will sing, compose music, play various musical instruments, tell jokes and perform simple magic tricks.
The Kenshin Model will pray to Bishamonten on you and your family's behalf.
*See enclosed video to distinguish differences in Gackt unit Dancing Mode from unit malfunction.*
Your GACKT unit can be utilized for Self-Defense, register your GACKT unit with local police authorities if you purchase the Kenshin, Genesis Rhapsodos, Lau Wong, or Gide Bellecourt Models.
*** CAUTION *** Your GACKT is anatomically correct and fully functional. Before exploring the capabilities of your GACKT unit, please see your doctor, enclosed is a booklet with a diet and conditioning plan for those wishing to utilize the GACKT unit for non-standard activity.
DO NOT BITE THE EAR LOBES - this may cause the unit to malfunction.
**Limited and Extended Warranties do not cover expense of divorce proceedings leading from excessive use of your GACKT unit.**
COMPATIBILITY
Your GACKT unit has been designed to work in concert (literally) with other DEARS units. (Other units designed by other companies may or may not sync with your GACKT unit, namely, SUGIZO, MIYAVI and YOSHIKI models.
HYDE Models are all compatible, (a MoonChild Model will keep the GACKT SHO Model from defaulting to Despondent Mode)
YOU Models are all compatible, you may find that your GACKT unit works at premium efficency with this model, they can be stored in the same closet.
CHACHA Models are all compatible, you may find that a CHA Model can coerce a GACKT unit into working when it is lethargic.
*SEE JOB and Companion Model Listings for compatabilty - these fluctuate from time to time*
ENERU Model can at times aggravate your GACKT unit, we suggest buying many slippers.
CLEANING
For optimum efficency, your GACKT unit should be cleansed daily, sometimes more than once, depending on use. Volvic water is preferred, you can use local water if filtered. The skin MUST BE CONDITIONED regularly to keep it's satin-smooth factory finish, liberally apply lotion after each wash. It is recommended that you use products provided with unit.
GACKT UNIT SETTINGS
(Sleep Mode)
The GACKT UNIT will work on only three hours of charging, but this can result in inadvertent shut-downs and unit seizure - this is a programming problem we have not been able to fix.
(Fuel)
While powered by Mr. Fusion (Green) your GACKT unit can eat (and eat and eat) for the purposes of a more natural appearance, built to withstand the spiciest foods. Will void itself, and does not need maintainance with the exception of -
(Drink)
When given large amounts of alcohol, your GACKT unit's Emotional Meter will go to (Silly) with further application of alcohol, the Meter will read (Despondent) with accompanying tears, and at last, the Meter will go to (Belligerent) at which point the unit will start swinging. Our Limited and Extended Warranties will not cover damages sustained when your GACKT unit is allowed to exceeded its design parameters.
(Intimate Mode)
***SEE ENCLOSED ENCYCLOPEDIA***
(Note, this mode has an eight hour minimum)
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: Can I purchase a second GACKT unit?
A: Due to unforeseen circumstances, only one GACKT per household is allowed. DEARS does not allow unauthorized reproduction of GACKT units (even when the units manage to reproduce themselves)
Q: How should I store my GACKT?
A: Your unit is best stored in a clean, dry, dust-free area in a standing position, (see our catalogue for Clear Display Case) Please drain the lubrication from the unit before long-term storage, it is not necessary to wrap except in cases of long-term storage. (see our catalogue for Black Cape and Onyx Coffin)
TROUBLE SHOOTING
Problem: My GACKT unit gets a faraway look in his eyes and will not respond to repeated commands.
Solution: Flash something shiny.
Problem: My GACKT unit has begun to take apart all the appliances.
Solution: Remove all tools from the house.
Problem: My GACKT unit keeps touching his wrists and neck over and over.
Solution: Make sure that you have the requisite amount of jewelry on your GACKT unit, you can arrive at this by weighing your accessories, the standard amount being 14lbs.
Problem: My GACKT unit's expression is stuck on POUT.
Solution: Immediately open your GACKT Repair Kit and put the GUNDAM action figure enclosed in the unit's left hand, this should clear the default setting.
Problem: My GACKT unit will not keep his clothes on.
Solution: If this is a problem, you do not deserve a GACKT unit.
For repairs beyond minor adjustments, see an authorized service dealer, GacktArmyDivision/FixYourGackt.com
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-25 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-25 04:55 pm (UTC)Beautiful job. Really, if there is ever a "Gackt as Gackt" challenge, this has to win - we'll pay someone to lose the hat for you ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-25 08:06 pm (UTC)"Problem: My GACKT unit will not keep its clothes on.
Solution: If this is a problem, you do not deserve a GACKT unit."
The thing is - now I really, REALLY want my very own Gackt model. The possibilities .... *drools*
And come to think of it ... a Hyde model would be great, too. And a You model. Not to forget Chacha. And Yoshiki as well. Oh, and definitely a Miyavi. That'd be SO cool! And to make the set complete also a Sugi :)
Darn.... I think I'll need a bigger house ;)
Thank you so much for this. I adored it :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-25 08:54 pm (UTC)How I want my very own Gackt Unit now *.*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 03:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 03:50 am (UTC)This has brightened my day considerably! XD
Thanks Karadin!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 11:29 am (UTC)YESH! lol
*See enclosed video to distinguish differences in Gackt unit Dancing Mode from unit malfunction.*
LOLZ! OMG this is a definite must see kinda guide!
There are many, MANY things i could copy and paste here, but i dont wanna sound dumb XD But this is full of win. I love it to pieces and yearn for my own anatomically correct GACKT doll!
...eight hour minimum, huh? amazing! lol
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-07 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-07 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-10 08:59 pm (UTC)so, i was reminded of it today, and i shared it with an online friend, and we read it together! it was SO much fun!
so, we both want to tell you how much we LOVED reading this, and how it's a total masterpiece!
thank you very much for writing this and sharing it with us. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-10 11:00 pm (UTC)